Learning to Pivot When Your World Falls Apart

In 2022, when my world fell apart, everything I thought I knew was no longer. My almost 20 year marriage was over, babies were no longer an option, and I needed to figure out what I was going to do. I had to create new dreams. Create an entirely new life.

For 6 months I was stuck living with my soon to be ex-husband due to financial reasons. Those 6 months were hard and overwhelming to say the least. I was depressed, lost, at times even felt hopeless. I didn’t know a life where I wasn’t his wife, where I was never going to be mom… I was 38 years old, no solid career to support me and help get me on my feet. And every day I had to get up and face the man who no longer wanted me. It was a real mind f*ck.

I shed so many tears during that time. Had days that it felt impossible to get out of bed. My mental health was at an all time low and I was my own biggest bully. I blamed myself for the demise of my marriage, my life. Was my life destined to be nothing but suffering and struggle? How could someone I gave everything too just toss me away like I was nothing? I always wanted to be a mom, how could I possibly let that go? So many questions with so little answers left me in a place of constant spiraling.

Looking back I know I was stuck in a victim mentality, which would leave anyone in a very dark place. I also know that’s not who I wanted to be or where I wanted to get stuck… angry, bitter, resentful, depressed. And slowly I began to make some changes…Because at the end of the day I had two choices, either stay in that low place and let it turn me into someone I didn’t want to be, or figure out how to make the best of my situation aka learn how to pivot and make a new life for myself I loved.

Stay tuned… in the next blog post I will talk about some of things I implemented to help me out of my funk, start the healing process, and start thinking about the new life I wanted to create. (I promise this story is about to get good!)

P.S. I wrote When Everything Changes for the version of me whose world had just fallen apart. If you’re standing in that place now, it may help you take your next small, steady step forward.

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