When my 20-year marriage ended, I was left with a daunting question: Who am I now? For the first time in my adult life, I was alone. And while that reality was overwhelming, I decided to do something I’d never done before—I booked a solo, 16-day road trip to Ireland and Northern Ireland.
It was my first international trip alone and my first time truly being on my own. It was scary, exhilarating, and life-changing. Along the winding roads of Ireland’s lush countryside, I found not just stunning landscapes but also pieces of myself that had been buried for years. Here’s what I learned and how this journey can inspire your own.
Why I Chose a Solo Road Trip to Ireland
Ireland had always been a dream destination. Its rugged cliffs, rolling green hills, and rich history seemed to call to me. But more than the destination, I needed the experience of stepping out of my comfort zone. I wanted to prove to myself that I could navigate life—literally and figuratively—on my own. I also felt it was one of the safer countries to visit as a single woman.
The idea of driving on the left side of the road, navigating foreign cities, and being alone for two weeks terrified me. But I knew that fear was the very reason I needed to go.
The Scary Moments
Let’s be honest: solo travel is not always glamorous. I had moments of doubt and fear.
- Driving on Narrow Roads: Driving a manual car on a winding Irish country roads, ON THE LEFT SIDE OF THE ROAD, was a white-knuckle experience. Some of the roads were so narrow that I was convinced I’d end up in a ditch. But with each passing mile, my confidence grew.
- Loneliness: There were quiet evenings when I missed having someone to share the experience with. But in those moments, I learned how to be my own companion. I even spent my 38th birthday in several pubs in Galway. The amazing thing about the Irish? They are so friendly and after mentioning it I had not one but two Irish bands (and the entire pub) sing me happy birthday! What an experience.
- Cultural Adjustment: From learning the nuances of Irish road signs to navigating a different culture, there were plenty of challenges. Each one, however, became a small victory.
The Healing & Liberating Moments
For every moment of fear, there was a moment of pure healing and liberation:
- Standing on the Cliffs of Kerry: Looking out at the endless ocean, I felt a deep connection to something greater than myself. It was a reminder of how vast and beautiful life can be. On these Cliffs is where I cried so long and so hard. Grieving the loss of my marriage, of having my own children, of having an alcoholic father. I cried and cried and cried and when I was done, I felt different. I felt lighter. And I walked back down to my car feelings like a completely new woman.
- Celebrating Alone in Galway: The night of my birthday, I enjoyed a couple of lively pubs with live music. I danced with strangers, laughed, was sang happy birthday and felt a joy I am not sure I have ever known. I felt bold and empowered and confident that I was going to be okay no matter what.
- Journaling Along the Wat: Sitting in my room each day, I poured my heart out onto the pages of my journal. The act of writing became a way to release more of my grief and sadness and embrace hope.
Healing Isn’t Linear
Remember, healing doesn’t come all at once. It comes in waves, often when you least expect it. On this trip, I had moments of cathartic crying—deep sobs that felt like I was shedding layers of pain. But it doesn’t mean I haven’t had moments before and after. If you find yourself on your own healing journey, read Healing Isn’t Linear, How to Embrace Progress, Not Perfection. You might find it pretty helpful.
What I Learned About Myself
- I Am Stronger Than I Thought: Each challenge I faced—and overcame—was proof of my resilience.
- I Enjoy My Own Company: I learned how to sit with my thoughts and find peace in solitude.
- I Can Create My Own Joy: From exploring ancient castles to enjoying a warm cup of tea in a tiny cafe, I realized that happiness is something I can cultivate on my own.
- It’s Fun Doing Your Own Thing: I thoroughly enjoyed doing my own thing with no one else to consider or worry about. I can do what I wanted, when I wanted, with whomever I wanted. It was amazing!
Tips for Your Own Solo Adventure
If you’re considering a solo trip, here are some tips to help you make the most of it:
- Start Small: If a 16-day trip feels overwhelming, start with a weekend getaway or a day trip to somewhere you have really been wanting to go. *I started with day hikes, and then overnight camping, and THEN this trip.
- Plan, but Stay Flexible: Research your destinations, but leave room for spontaneous adventures.
- Journal Your Journey: Writing about your experiences helps you process your emotions and capture memories.
- Embrace the Quiet: Don’t be afraid of moments of silence. They’re opportunities to connect with yourself.
- Celebrate Your Wins: Every little victory—whether it’s navigating a tricky road or trying something new—is worth celebrating.
Why This Matters to Your Healing
Solo travel is about more than just seeing the world; it’s about discovering yourself. It’s about proving to yourself that you are capable, resilient, and worthy of joy. Whether it’s a road trip through Ireland or a solo coffee date in your hometown, taking time to be alone is a powerful step in your healing and growth.
You are a Fearless Femme—bold, brave, and ready to embrace the unknown. Take the leap. Trust the journey. And most importantly, trust yourself.
Final Thoughts
That 16-day road trip through Ireland wasn’t just a vacation; it was a turning point in my life. It reminded me of my strength, my independence, and my capacity for joy. And while the road was sometimes scary, it led me to a place of healing and confidence I never thought possible.
So, what’s your next adventure? It doesn’t have to be across the world—it just has to be yours. Take the first step. You’ve got this.
P.S. If you’re planning your own solo adventure — whether it’s across Ireland or just down the road — I created a guided solo travel journal to help you capture the growth, lessons, and quiet breakthroughs that happen along the way. Because the trip is only part of the story… who you become is the rest.
