Learning to Pivot When Your World Falls Apart

In 2022, when my world fell apart, everything I thought I knew was no longer. My almost 20 year marriage was over, babies were no longer an option, and I needed to figure out what I was going to do. I had to create new dreams. Create an entirely new life.

For 6 months I was stuck living with my soon to be ex-husband due to financial reasons. Those 6 months were hard and overwhelming to say the least. I was depressed, lost, at times even felt hopeless. I didn’t know a life where I wasn’t his wife, where I was never going to be mom… I was 38 years old, no solid career to support me and help get me on my feet. And every day I had to get up and face the man who no longer wanted me. It was a real mind f*ck.

I shed so many tears during that time. Had days that it felt impossible to get out of bed. My mental health was at an all time low and I was my own biggest bully. I blamed myself for the demise of my marriage, my life. Was my life destined to be nothing but suffering and struggle? How could someone I gave everything too just toss me away like I was nothing? I always wanted to be a mom, how could I possibly let that go? So many questions with so little answers left me in a place of constant spiraling.

Looking back I know I was stuck in a victim mentality, which would leave anyone in a very dark place. I also know that’s not who I wanted to be or where I wanted to get stuck… angry, bitter, resentful, depressed. And slowly I began to make some changes…Because at the end of the day I had two choices, either stay in that low place and let it turn me into someone I didn’t want to be, or figure out how to make the best of my situation aka learn how to pivot and make a new life for myself I loved.

Stay tuned… in the next blog post I will talk about some of things I implemented to help me out of my funk, start the healing process, and start thinking about the new life I wanted to create. (I promise this story is about to get good!)