Living Alone For The First Time

Talk about being a Fearless Femme myself… Moving out on my own for the first time in my life was both scary and exciting. Can you believe I was 38 years old the first time I lived on my own? I can’t lol. But here I am doing almost a year later and honestly, I am loving it.

It’s so fun to get to have a place you can do whatever you want in. I mean, I have pink sheets now! It’s MY space. I can do literally whatever I want. And I get it, I am fortunate to get to live alone. I don’t have to have room mates, I don’t have to live with family. I am so very grateful for that. But it definitely does not come without it’s trials and tribulations. Oh, man the stories I can tell you. There are so many things that have been a huge learning curve. I realize now how many things my ex-husband used to handle and now that’s on me. Let’s just say there has been a lot of Googling and YouTubing going on in my house.

I Am Learning How to Be Along and Be Okay With It

I spent 20 years married. 20 years with a partner to help me with things or keep me company at night. All of a sudden it’s quiet in my house and there’s no one to talk to or hold me when I am feeling down. It’s not always easy. I have definitely felt moments of real loneliness. And yet, I am learning how to be alone. To keep myself company. To focus on myself and to rediscover who I am and what makes me happy with zero distractions. It has truly been a liberating experience.

Some Things I Love About Living Alone

• Pink sheets!
• Coming and going as I please
• ZERO EXPECTATIONS
• I can play my music loud at any time I want
• Hosting girls nights
• Feeling and being independent
• I can decorate how I want
• Just the feeling of it being “my space”

Some Things I Don’t Love About Living Alone

• Um, SPIDERS! I have to kill my own now. (Insert crying emoji lol)
• Having to deal with my own electronics and issues that arise
• I need more hugs in my life
• I occasionally get lonely but it’s getting easier every day
• Having to ask friends to help me move heavy things
• No one to hold me at night

Life After Divorce Is Hard But I Am Doing It

It’s been quite the healing process, moving on after everything I have been through. Not just divorce but infertility, family stuff, etc. But living on my own has given me time and space to do so. If you haven’t yet, read my blog post, “When Life Gives You Lemons” and you’ll see just why this living alone is such a big deal and just how giant the healing process has been for me.

Just for fun – If you are also learning to be alone… Listen to this song! How to Be Alone by Rachel Grae

A Few Things That Have Helped Me Adjust to Living Alone

• Journaling is huge for me. I don’t do it every day but I do it often, especially on rough days.
• I have security cameras. This makes me feel a little more safe. Nothing crazy. Just some Blink cameras from Amazon.
• I have a couple of friends that I check in with often.
• I give myself a lot of grace. Some days are better than others. And that’s totally okay.
• A get out and spend time with people or invite people over. Being around your favorite people always helps.
• Self care 100%. Check out the Tools and Resources Page for tips and ideas on this.

Overall learning to live alone has been a fun adventure. I actually feel quite thankful for the experience. I do my best to focus on all the positives and give myself grace when I doubt myself or my situation.

I also want to invite you, if you are going through something hard or maybe even just something new, and you would like to get connected to a support system. I invite you to find out more about Getting Connected here at Fearless Femme. We would love to support you in any way we can.

Until next time,

P.S. Those early days of living alone can stir up more than we expect. If you need something steady to walk you through it, When Everything Changes was written for this exact chapter.